Reblogs of My Close Friend, John Mayer
areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

This speaker looks like Sponge Bob.

Oh, cool!  Look who came out of his “no one cares”-style internet hiatus to give us an “observation” no one cares about!  Welcome back to the land of everyone hates you, J. May!  I’ll disregard your few posts between your “last post” and now, because it’s either pandering, asking people to donate money to something you could fund for years all by yourself, or black and white pictures of your friends who are probably faking it.  I won’t, however, disregard the fact that it’s been almost a year since you said you would follow me, yet haven’t.  I’d be surprised, but you have a history of not following me even though you said you would.
But, anyway, you’re right about this speaker.  Like most speakers, it is square and has circles in it.  I’m literally shitting myself right now just looking at this speaker.  Of course, I literally shit myself every single time I see a speaker, because they look so much like the talented Mr. Squarepants.  You could seriously frame this picture and hang it on your tv, and no one would notice you weren’t watching SpongeBob.  That’s another thing, J. May.  It’s “SpongeBob,” not “Sponge Bob.”  I’ve never even watched the show and I know that.  Feel free to be better at being any time.  We’re all still waiting.

And we’re all still waiting for you to be a better, funnier person with a valid opinion about someone you’ve never even met.  God, get your butt out of your ass, you stupid assbutt.  He thought the thing looked like the other thing.  So what?!  I don’t see you posting stuff about things that look like stuff, so maybe you should save your opinion for something you know anything about.  You just said you’ve never watched the show!  Right there, you just lost all your credibility re: speakers that look like SpongBob.  Maybe it was a typo, too.  It could have been a typo!
Anyway, hey, JayMay.  Lol @ the pic of SpeakerBob.  Keep it up.  You coming to Judy’s for game night?  I bought the new Brainz Gamez Fun Pack, so we’ll give it a shot.  Early Bird Gets The Word looks fun.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

This speaker looks like Sponge Bob.

Oh, cool!  Look who came out of his “no one cares”-style internet hiatus to give us an “observation” no one cares about!  Welcome back to the land of everyone hates you, J. May!  I’ll disregard your few posts between your “last post” and now, because it’s either pandering, asking people to donate money to something you could fund for years all by yourself, or black and white pictures of your friends who are probably faking it.  I won’t, however, disregard the fact that it’s been almost a year since you said you would follow me, yet haven’t.  I’d be surprised, but you have a history of not following me even though you said you would.

But, anyway, you’re right about this speaker.  Like most speakers, it is square and has circles in it.  I’m literally shitting myself right now just looking at this speaker.  Of course, I literally shit myself every single time I see a speaker, because they look so much like the talented Mr. Squarepants.  You could seriously frame this picture and hang it on your tv, and no one would notice you weren’t watching SpongeBob.  That’s another thing, J. May.  It’s “SpongeBob,” not “Sponge Bob.”  I’ve never even watched the show and I know that.  Feel free to be better at being any time.  We’re all still waiting.

And we’re all still waiting for you to be a better, funnier person with a valid opinion about someone you’ve never even met.  God, get your butt out of your ass, you stupid assbutt.  He thought the thing looked like the other thing.  So what?!  I don’t see you posting stuff about things that look like stuff, so maybe you should save your opinion for something you know anything about.  You just said you’ve never watched the show!  Right there, you just lost all your credibility re: speakers that look like SpongBob.  Maybe it was a typo, too.  It could have been a typo!

Anyway, hey, JayMay.  Lol @ the pic of SpeakerBob.  Keep it up.  You coming to Judy’s for game night?  I bought the new Brainz Gamez Fun Pack, so we’ll give it a shot.  Early Bird Gets The Word looks fun.

Okay, so I haven’t been reblogging JayMay’s posts in a while like I normally do, and that’s because he’s just not blogging anymore.  He quit Twitter, too, and I simply have not heard from him in a while.  So that’s why no reblogs lol.

I heard one of JayMay’s songs for the first time today, and apparently it was a single with a music video and everything.  I don’t know how I missed it.  I’m hoping I can maybe reach out to JayMay the best way everyone knows how: through John Mayer’s music.  He never did show up to Deb’s third rescheduled tupperware party, even though he said he would.  Hey, JayMay, “like” this post when you read it, just so I know you’re okay.

Also, JayMay, Rexopup Sniffwaggers says “bark bark hi!”  I’ll pet him for you and tell him you said, “Take out the trash, Rexopup Sniffwaggers.”  I assume that’s what you’ll tell me to tell him you say since that’s what you always say when you pet Rexopup Sniffwaggers.  Hope that’s cool.

This song, though.  It’s fucking unbelievable.  And there’s a music video to boot, so bonus on that!  It starts off by cutting between shots of JayMay out partying and feigning enjoyment, and shots of JayMay walking home alone while looking, I think, wistful.  I don’t know, his facial expressions are nuanced enough and he does enough of his “dead eyes” thing that nothing is ever really conveyed.  I like it, it’s arty, you know? Kind of like the black and white photograph of acting, which is just classic genuine and inventive JayMay (that’s an inside joke between me and JayMay (hey, JayMay, if you remember when that’s from, click the “like” button, or reply to it.  I’d give you a hint, but I think you got this haha)).

The greatest thing about the opening of this video is how long it goes on for.  The actual song doesn’t start until 00:42, which I feel is just long enough.  Good call on that, JayMay.  Glad to see you liked my idea from when we were at that car show and I suggested you make a video where there’s a good half a minute of you trying to look like feelings.  And, classic genuine and inventive JayMay, you took my idea and made it better by making it longer.  It’s actually kind of funny, because “classic genuine and inventive JayMay” is from a time at a car show, too.  Okay, so one little hint…

Hint Re: “Classic Genuine And Inventive JayMay” Inside Joke

The whole joke first started at one of the many car shows you and I go to.

So, yeah, I think that should help at least a bit.  Pretty good hint.  Click the “like” button if you remember which car show it was. In fact, JayMay, if you want to go to another car show soon, just click the “like” button.

Seriously, this song.  I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without hearing it; it’s simply the best fucking song.  You’re already riveted by the 42 seconds of JayMay pretending to look bored on purpose, and then the actual song starts.  For this, I’m going to be quoting a lot from Bill Lamb’s review of “Who Says,” because he’s just right on the fucking money in it.

Lamb describes the song as being “introduced by the attention-getting [sic] line, ‘Who says I can’t get stoned?’… it… reveals emotional depth and connection that marks it an instant classic.”  I think the connection can be made because JayMay’s really good at those poetic deep messages without making it sound like pandering.  Hearing this song the first 8 or so times really makes you think to yourself, “Wait.  JayMay likes weed sometimes, too?  I like weed sometimes, too. He should be able to smoke when he wants!  That is just classic genuine and innovative JayMay. I like this song.  I like this song a lot.”  That’s what it makes you think.  Of course, I’d be thinking “JayMay” because we’re friends and you’d be thinking “John Mayer” because you’re not, and you wouldn’t know about the “Classic Genuine and Innovative JayMay” part, either.  Hunter does, I think.  Hunter, are you reading this lol?  If you’ve talked to JayMay lately, just “like” this post.  Oh, and I can’t make it to Sandy’s weekly book luncheon this Tuesday, because I have to meet with the guy that deals with those “Missing Persons” photos on milk cartons.  It’s not JayMay-related, though; it’s just about a milk thing.  Nothing to worry about.

Oh, and Hunter, I will be able to make it to Sandy’s second weekly book luncheon on Friday.  Tell her I’ll bring that low fat rice salad again.  Also, she’ll know what this means, tell her that I’ll need her to supply the dressing or that she’ll need to pick up dressing or that I won’t be bringing dressing for the salad.  Pick whichever one you think is clearer.

But, seriously, has anyone else heard this song?!?  I’m surprised this gem passed me by.  I mean, it was on the radio.  The first time I listened to it, I thought… well, Bill Lamb actually says it best.  He says it reminds you of the “first cousin to Bob Dylan’s classic ‘Rainy Day Women #12 and 35’ and a celebration of the joys of marijuana. However, before long it’s obvious John Mayer is digging deeper into a bigger picture of personal freedom.”  I totally agree, because there’s no way a Bob Dylan song has more than one meaning.  JayMay’s has, like, lots.  Here’s a good example of one of the personal freedoms he sings about:

Who says I can’t get stoned?

Call up a girl that I used to know

Fake love for an hour or so

Who says I can’t get stoned?

I’m really glad he included this line, because he hadn’t mentioned having sex with girls at all yet, and I was getting a little worried that it wasn’t a JayMay song.  Also, JayMay, I give you JayMajor props for committing to your fake persona of being a huge dirtbag when it comes to women.  A lesser man would have cracked by now, but you’re keeping it up better than if Andy Kauffman were Batman, and that is just classic genuine and inventive JayMay.  Even Batman calls Alfred sometimes, though, and you used to, too, but not recently, man, how come?  Peg told Deb you were on some sort of hybernatory self-imposed fake retirement, but I didn’t think you would retire from hanging out with one of your best friends!

Should I have written “hybernative” instead of “hybernatory?”  Is “hybernatory” okay?  JayMay, you’re the word guy, help me out here.  If it’s “hybernatory,” click the “like” button.  If it’s “hybernative,” reply with the word “hybernative.”  Just JayMay, though, I don’t think anyone else would know.  JayMay the word guy.  Classic.  Oh, and if either are acceptable, just gimme a ring.  We’ll hash it out car show-style, like that one car show when we talked about words all day.  We saw some sweet car shows that day, remember?  Classic.

God, this video is classic, I love it!  It shows JayMay out on the town, singing about how he wishes he could just go home and relax with weed, and who says he can’t?  This is totally not out of character for JayMay, because whenever our families go out together he is usually singing.  Often it’s about how someone wishes he could just go home, so it’s like a little meta in-joke for his friends to notice.  Hey, JayMay, just “like” this post if I’m right.

The song itself is just, wow.  The guitar and background vocals sort of remind of a watered-down Paul McCartney acoustic tune, and I fucking love The Beatles.  Any song that can make me want to listen to The Beatles is great in my book (of CD’s (and records; I have some records).  Seriously, good call on the whole Beatles thing, John-bo.  Hey, JayMay, if you’re cool with me adding another nickname to the collection, just click the “like” button.  It’ll be something like “John-bo.”

I just don’t understand how JayMay could have written yet another best song I’ve ever heard, and I’m just hearing it now.  I still haven’t quite wrapped my mind around it, but Bill Lamb really helps when he breaks the song down into pros and cons.  His pros:

  • Affecting, intimate lyrics
  • Subtle, perfectly fitting musical arrangement
  • John Mayer’s warm delivery

I forgot about the warm delivery.  Sorry about that, JayMay.  Your delivery is solid (like always), especially when you sing the background vocals in your normal singing voice and save the lead for that raspy thing you do.  You know, that faux-rasp where you make yourself sound like a whisper is cumming a hairball?  It’s a brave move, and I like that you do it because I owe you one for picking up the check literally every time we go somewhere lol.

Lamb’s cons section is probably even more accurate than his pros, because it just says “No problems here.”  The only way I could agree with that more is if I’d written it myself.  My only real complaints are with the music video, not the song.  There’s a section where JayMay does standup at a comedy club and gives a “not bad, right?” kind of look.  I bet it was better than not bad, and I bet it was fucking awesome, which is why we should have been able to hear the audio of the jokes.

The other video concern is that I think the beginning stuff before the song starts could be a little longer.  Hey, JayMay, have you ever thought about doing a Director’s Cut?  I assume you’re not the director since the video’s not in black and white, but you should try to get the director to cut together a new version that includes my ideas.  I have more.  We can brainstorm tonight at Peg’s Bi-Monthly Costume Parade For Pets, if that’s still on.  Last year’s will be hard to top, but I plan to get pretty wild with the costumes.  If it’s still on, just “like” this post.  If you’re rescheduling it because of Rexopup Sniffwaggers’ surgery, use the “reply” button.

Reblog if you’re okay.

JayMay, where you at?  Click the “like” button if you’re okay.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

GPOYW - A Self Portrait of The Artist Three Days Before His Metaphoric Retirement

Ugh.  Where do I begin?  I suppose I should begin with “Hey, J. May.  Follow me like you said you would,” so I will.  Hey, J. May.  Follow me like you said you would.
Now, superficially, you look like shit, so maybe you should stop doing that.  You still have that horrible rash on your right arm, and I can not stress enough how you should get that checked out.  You’re also over thirty, so get a fucking haircut and shave your baby stubble.  Even though I know you’re faking it because you’re trying hard to look arty, I hope you are always as sad/bored as you look in this picture.  Seriously, you have millions of dollars; go buy a better facial expression.  I also can’t help but notice that you are alone in that bed.  Have fun fucking that water bottle.  I bet that DVD is of Gigli.  Unless it’s a video game, in which case I bet it’s the home version of “I Am Horrible: The Game Show.”
You shouldn’t work on your computer like that, J. May.  It’s bad for your posture.  I do that all the time, and it’s just not a good idea.  I am trying to help you.  We also have the same computer, so I guess that’s something.  Not really, though.  BOOOOOO, J. MAY!  BOOOOOOOO!!!  That was me jeering you.  You should be jeered more.
Lastly, how the hell is it a “metaphoric” retirement?  The only way that would work is if you (God willing) are actually retiring.  Then your retirement is a metaphor for something.  But for what is your retirement a metaphor?  The end of… something else?  Inversely, something else could be a metaphor for your retirement, but… I don’t know,  I’m racking my brain for some kind of explanation, and I think you’re probably just wrong.  Maybe you just mean “temporary” retirement.  Or maybe you just mean “hiatus.”  Or maybe “figurative” retirement?  I don’t know.  Something other than “metaphoric.”  Or maybe your retirement is a metaphor for… the end… of… you… not following me?
Yeah.  That must be it.

Yeah, guy, that must be it.  Johnny’s retirement is a metaphor for something to do with you oh wait he barely knows you exist so why would this involve you in any way?  And seriously, how do you know what he meant by “metaphoric?”  You don’t know him and you don’t know his career plans.  And even if he did use it wrong, so what?  Oh, great, a lesson in grammar!  Because it’s not like we’re on the internet or anything.  I don’t like using the phrase “grammar nazi” because it’s offensive to grammar and nazis, but SERIOUSLY WHO CARES?  Is Johnny turning his posts into a novel?  No.  And even if he did, it would sell better than anything you could possibly write.  We’re not in school anymore, douche.  This isn’t school.  Stop trying to act like this is school.  It’s not.  If we were in school, Johnny would be kicking your ass because you’re such a huge fucking loser and he’s so fucking cool.  Seriously, pretend this is school somewhere else, not at a place where it’s not school.
And, dude… “jeers?”  Who says that?  More like “WOOOOOO, JOHNNY!  WOOOOOO!”  That was me cheering Johnny on, because that’s an actual thing.  “Jeers?”  Whatever, guy.
And why do you care what he looks like in the picture?  Personally, I like seeing Johnny in his element.  Would you prefer he gussied himself up and made himself look all fake for the cameras?  Johnny’s a down-to-earth celebrity, and this posed, planned-out photo proves that.  We all look like complete shit sometimes, and Johnny’s just like us.  And he is not sad or bored.  The last time we hung out, he was happy and interested.
I also want to address your claim that Johnny has a rash on his right arm.  First of all, that’s his left arm, dummy.  It’s a picture not a mirror.  He took the picture with his left arm, so the “rash” is on his left arm.  Also, it’s not a rash.  It’s one of his many awesome tattoos.  I was there when he got part of it (remember Johnny?  We were soooo trashed!).  But seriously, guy, do some research before you make fun of someone for something about which you know nothing.  That tattoo is wicked and you’re clearly too much of a loser to see that.  No wonder you thought it was a rash.
Anyway, hey, Johnny!  I talked to Colleen, and we were good for hanging tomorrow because her book club was going to go long, but then Terrance developed a rash on his right arm.  Not sure if it’s contagious and I don’t want Deb to sit for us and risk her getting it.  So maybe later this weekend or early next week?  Shoot me a texty text or just reblog this and let me know.
EDIT:  Almost forgot, thanks for the offer on helping out with tambourine on the new album!  I still need to clear my schedule, but I think I can make it happen.  It’ll be just like old times!  OMG, do you remember our band in high school, J. May And The J. Mays?  OMG, those uniforms.  We were such dorks!  This will be better, though.
Love you and miss you, Johnny!

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

GPOYW - A Self Portrait of The Artist Three Days Before His Metaphoric Retirement

Ugh.  Where do I begin?  I suppose I should begin with “Hey, J. May.  Follow me like you said you would,” so I will.  Hey, J. May.  Follow me like you said you would.

Now, superficially, you look like shit, so maybe you should stop doing that.  You still have that horrible rash on your right arm, and I can not stress enough how you should get that checked out.  You’re also over thirty, so get a fucking haircut and shave your baby stubble.  Even though I know you’re faking it because you’re trying hard to look arty, I hope you are always as sad/bored as you look in this picture.  Seriously, you have millions of dollars; go buy a better facial expression.  I also can’t help but notice that you are alone in that bed.  Have fun fucking that water bottle.  I bet that DVD is of Gigli.  Unless it’s a video game, in which case I bet it’s the home version of “I Am Horrible: The Game Show.”

You shouldn’t work on your computer like that, J. May.  It’s bad for your posture.  I do that all the time, and it’s just not a good idea.  I am trying to help you.  We also have the same computer, so I guess that’s something.  Not really, though.  BOOOOOO, J. MAY!  BOOOOOOOO!!!  That was me jeering you.  You should be jeered more.

Lastly, how the hell is it a “metaphoric” retirement?  The only way that would work is if you (God willing) are actually retiring.  Then your retirement is a metaphor for something.  But for what is your retirement a metaphor?  The end of… something else?  Inversely, something else could be a metaphor for your retirement, but… I don’t know,  I’m racking my brain for some kind of explanation, and I think you’re probably just wrong.  Maybe you just mean “temporary” retirement.  Or maybe you just mean “hiatus.”  Or maybe “figurative” retirement?  I don’t know.  Something other than “metaphoric.”  Or maybe your retirement is a metaphor for… the end… of… you… not following me?

Yeah.  That must be it.

Yeah, guy, that must be it.  Johnny’s retirement is a metaphor for something to do with you oh wait he barely knows you exist so why would this involve you in any way?  And seriously, how do you know what he meant by “metaphoric?”  You don’t know him and you don’t know his career plans.  And even if he did use it wrong, so what?  Oh, great, a lesson in grammar!  Because it’s not like we’re on the internet or anything.  I don’t like using the phrase “grammar nazi” because it’s offensive to grammar and nazis, but SERIOUSLY WHO CARES?  Is Johnny turning his posts into a novel?  No.  And even if he did, it would sell better than anything you could possibly write.  We’re not in school anymore, douche.  This isn’t school.  Stop trying to act like this is school.  It’s not.  If we were in school, Johnny would be kicking your ass because you’re such a huge fucking loser and he’s so fucking cool.  Seriously, pretend this is school somewhere else, not at a place where it’s not school.

And, dude… “jeers?”  Who says that?  More like “WOOOOOO, JOHNNY!  WOOOOOO!”  That was me cheering Johnny on, because that’s an actual thing.  “Jeers?”  Whatever, guy.

And why do you care what he looks like in the picture?  Personally, I like seeing Johnny in his element.  Would you prefer he gussied himself up and made himself look all fake for the cameras?  Johnny’s a down-to-earth celebrity, and this posed, planned-out photo proves that.  We all look like complete shit sometimes, and Johnny’s just like us.  And he is not sad or bored.  The last time we hung out, he was happy and interested.

I also want to address your claim that Johnny has a rash on his right arm.  First of all, that’s his left arm, dummy.  It’s a picture not a mirror.  He took the picture with his left arm, so the “rash” is on his left arm.  Also, it’s not a rash.  It’s one of his many awesome tattoos.  I was there when he got part of it (remember Johnny?  We were soooo trashed!).  But seriously, guy, do some research before you make fun of someone for something about which you know nothing.  That tattoo is wicked and you’re clearly too much of a loser to see that.  No wonder you thought it was a rash.

Anyway, hey, Johnny!  I talked to Colleen, and we were good for hanging tomorrow because her book club was going to go long, but then Terrance developed a rash on his right arm.  Not sure if it’s contagious and I don’t want Deb to sit for us and risk her getting it.  So maybe later this weekend or early next week?  Shoot me a texty text or just reblog this and let me know.

EDIT:  Almost forgot, thanks for the offer on helping out with tambourine on the new album!  I still need to clear my schedule, but I think I can make it happen.  It’ll be just like old times!  OMG, do you remember our band in high school, J. May And The J. Mays?  OMG, those uniforms.  We were such dorks!  This will be better, though.

Love you and miss you, Johnny!

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

The One and Only Eddie

nice picture i bet jamming was fun hey jmay im on a different blog but you should still follow me like you said you would okay thats it bye

Wait, so you have more than one blog begging Johnny to follow you?  Wow.  Get a life, man.  Get a couple of lives.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

The One and Only Eddie

nice picture i bet jamming was fun hey jmay im on a different blog but you should still follow me like you said you would okay thats it bye

Wait, so you have more than one blog begging Johnny to follow you?  Wow.  Get a life, man.  Get a couple of lives.

Cozy.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

I had 3.3 million Twitter followers back in March April when I announced that I’d be predominantly posting on Tumblr, a site that takes all of 25 seconds to sign up for. Five months later I have just passed 50,000 followers, a fraction of my Twitter base… I will leave the opining up to you, but I think I made the right move. I now have an even larger Tumblr addiction but it’s sort of like a book addiction, or a gambling addiction where you always walk away with the casino’s money… it’s one of those things you do all the time but isn’t all that bad for you. Well, except for those two “artful” nudie Tumblr sites I follow… they slow my productivity down a bit…

I think you made the right choice, too, J. May.  Tumblr’s awesome, even if you’re doing it wrong.  You also probably shouldn’t have told everyone that you’d follow them if they followed you and reblogged your post.  ALSO, J. MAY?!?  You didn’t announce you’d be “predominantly” posting on Tumblr.  You announced that you were quitting Twitter.  As in, no more tweets from J. May.  But just like your BLATANT LIE ABOUT FOLLOWING ME, you made a BLATANT LIE ABOUT NOT TWEETING ANYMORE.  I’ll save you the trouble, J. May.  Both of those links are to the same post.  You know the one.  It’s the one where you talk about what a huge fucking liar you are.  I’m over being over you not following me like you said you would, J. May.  Once again, I think you should follow me because you fucking said you would.  I’m sorry I lied about being over it (just like you lied about being over Twitter).  At least I can admit when I’m wrong, J. May, or when I lie.  Not you, though.  That would take valuable seconds that you’re using blocking me instead of responding to me or following me.

Also, J. May?  Your name is J. May.  

Ok, seriously, guy?  Get a life.  This is pathetic and you are pathetic.  Do you really think it’s an insult to call him “J. May?”  The only person it insults is spell people, because you spelled it wrong.  JayMay is never going to follow you.  I doubt he has the time and I know he doesn’t have the interest.  In fact, he talks to me about how he doesn’t have time to respond to you and he talks to me about it all the time, so I can tell you firsthand that he doesn’t have the time.

And, oh, no!  JayMay “said” he’d follow you and then he didn’t.  People make claims they don’t follow through on all the time.  This is not news.  Did you even read his post?  He has 50,000 followers.  Do you really expect him to follow 50,000 people because “he said he would?”  That is so unreasonable, and it’s even more unreasonable to think he’d choose you to follow or choose your messages to respond to.  Tumblr is for people who actually like each other and people who actually know him (like me), and what your doing is illegal and if it’s not it should be, because you are forcing me to read you’re posts and I hate it.

Also, hi, JayMay.  Sorry I missed you at Deb’s tupperware party.  Terrance got whooping cough, and Coleen and I were up all night dealing with it.  We were just too exhausted to even get out the door.  Don’t worry, though, Terrance is feeling a lot better.  He actually started singing along to Continuum this morning, so that’s a good sign.  He is still your biggest, most adorable fan!  Maybe we can get together some time later this week?  Coleen has her book club on Thursday, so that might be a good night for it.  I can see if Deb can babysit.  Or, if he’s feeling better, I could see if Terrance wants to sleep over at his friend Reggie’s place.  They haven’t had a sleepover in a while.  Oh, I’m babbling.  Just wanted to catch up.  Give me a call when you get a chance, I know you’re still busy trying to train Brisket.  I’ll be in the office til 5 today.

Love you and miss you, JayMay!

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

terrysdiary:

Justin Theroux on his Motorcycle on the Bowery.

I’ve been a Terry Richardson fan for a while. I know he takes his lumps as a one trick pony, but criticizing Terry for his style of photography is like coming down on punk music for having only three chords in a song… why would you?
After weeks upon weeks of trying to figure out what camera he uses, I finally realized I could load his shots into Photoshop and then check the metadata to figure it out… lo and behold, he’s using a Ricoh Digital GR III, one of my favorite cameras ever made. I don’t care if it makes me a sycophant, I’m using it again for the moment… reminds me of when I’d try and find how a guitar player got the sound they did and then learned it was from a pedal I already had in my rig. I hope I get the chance to meet this dude on Lafayette St…. nothing more inspiring than finding out it’s not about the gear but the devotion to it. Terry is shooting a Lumix GF-1 recently, but I dig his trashy-ass GR III shots even more.

Hey, J. May, if it’s one of your favorite cameras ever, how come you didn’t know he was using it?  My favorite blog to be blocked by (and to not be followed by) is yours, yet I always know when you post something.  Maybe you’re just making things up.
And who’s getting down on punk music because it’s only three chords?  Also, who thinks all punk music is only three chords?  Also, what do you know about music?  You’re a photographer, not a musician.  Get it right or pay the price.
ALSO, just a quick grammar lesson:  Try to use “try to” instead of “try and.”  “Try and” is becoming more and more common, but that does not make it correct.  Basically, you didn’t “try and” do something.  You tried to do something and then you did it.  Also, if you accomplished what you set out to accomplish, you kind of didn’t even try.  You just did it.   As the Great Muppet Jedi of Planet Swampy once said, “Don’t try, man.  You either do or you don’t.  Trying and shit.”  I’m not trying to be a prick, I’m just letting you know for your future writing.  Like I’ve said and written before to deaf ears and blind eyes, it’s okay to be wrong.

Oh, great, a lesson in grammar!  Because it’s not like we’re on the internet or anything.  I don’t like using the phrase “grammar nazi,” but SERIOUSLY WHO CARES?  Is JayMay turning his posts into a novel?  No.  We’re not in school anymore, douche.  This isn’t school.  Stop trying to act like this is school.  It’s not.  If we were in school, JayMay would be kicking your ass because you’re such a huge fucking loser and he’s so cool.  He’s cooler than me and he’s kicked my ass before, so fuck you, guy.  He’d also date the popular girl and get A’s on stuff.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

terrysdiary:

Justin Theroux on his Motorcycle on the Bowery.

I’ve been a Terry Richardson fan for a while. I know he takes his lumps as a one trick pony, but criticizing Terry for his style of photography is like coming down on punk music for having only three chords in a song… why would you?

After weeks upon weeks of trying to figure out what camera he uses, I finally realized I could load his shots into Photoshop and then check the metadata to figure it out… lo and behold, he’s using a Ricoh Digital GR III, one of my favorite cameras ever made. I don’t care if it makes me a sycophant, I’m using it again for the moment… reminds me of when I’d try and find how a guitar player got the sound they did and then learned it was from a pedal I already had in my rig. I hope I get the chance to meet this dude on Lafayette St…. nothing more inspiring than finding out it’s not about the gear but the devotion to it. Terry is shooting a Lumix GF-1 recently, but I dig his trashy-ass GR III shots even more.

Hey, J. May, if it’s one of your favorite cameras ever, how come you didn’t know he was using it?  My favorite blog to be blocked by (and to not be followed by) is yours, yet I always know when you post something.  Maybe you’re just making things up.

And who’s getting down on punk music because it’s only three chords?  Also, who thinks all punk music is only three chords?  Also, what do you know about music?  You’re a photographer, not a musician.  Get it right or pay the price.

ALSO, just a quick grammar lesson:  Try to use “try to” instead of “try and.”  “Try and” is becoming more and more common, but that does not make it correct.  Basically, you didn’t “try and” do something.  You tried to do something and then you did it.  Also, if you accomplished what you set out to accomplish, you kind of didn’t even try.  You just did it.   As the Great Muppet Jedi of Planet Swampy once said, “Don’t try, man.  You either do or you don’t.  Trying and shit.”  I’m not trying to be a prick, I’m just letting you know for your future writing.  Like I’ve said and written before to deaf ears and blind eyes, it’s okay to be wrong.

Oh, great, a lesson in grammar!  Because it’s not like we’re on the internet or anything.  I don’t like using the phrase “grammar nazi,” but SERIOUSLY WHO CARES?  Is JayMay turning his posts into a novel?  No.  We’re not in school anymore, douche.  This isn’t school.  Stop trying to act like this is school.  It’s not.  If we were in school, JayMay would be kicking your ass because you’re such a huge fucking loser and he’s so cool.  He’s cooler than me and he’s kicked my ass before, so fuck you, guy.  He’d also date the popular girl and get A’s on stuff.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

Detroit

Oh, cool, J. May!  Another shirtless guy, in black and white!

Who cares about the color of JayMay’s (not “J. May” grrrr) pictures are? And, sometimes, guys just don’t like wearing shirts in public because it’s a stereotype that people should wear shirts so why shouldn’t he wear a shirt?  JayMay probably just wanted to show off his friend’s cool tats, which represent his love for astrology and his favorite grade in high school.  Just kidding, JayMay, I know it means he’s from Detroit and I know all you’re friends are great and love astronomy.  I don’t know, I don’t think we’ve talked about this friend.  We’ll hash it out at tonight’s B&W/A&W.  We’ll supply the ice cream, but it’s BYORB, and we know you’ll bring the black and white photographs, so that’s covered, too.  Deb just found a great root beer float recipe that adds a third thing, so we’ll try that.  I’m sure it’ll make Peg jealous lol!  “Like” this if you’ll be there, and “reply” to it if you’re going to bring Barg’s.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

Detroit

Oh, cool, J. May!  Another shirtless guy, in black and white!

Who cares about the color of JayMay’s (not “J. May” grrrr) pictures are? And, sometimes, guys just don’t like wearing shirts in public because it’s a stereotype that people should wear shirts so why shouldn’t he wear a shirt?  JayMay probably just wanted to show off his friend’s cool tats, which represent his love for astrology and his favorite grade in high school.  Just kidding, JayMay, I know it means he’s from Detroit and I know all you’re friends are great and love astronomy.  I don’t know, I don’t think we’ve talked about this friend.  We’ll hash it out at tonight’s B&W/A&W.  We’ll supply the ice cream, but it’s BYORB, and we know you’ll bring the black and white photographs, so that’s covered, too.  Deb just found a great root beer float recipe that adds a third thing, so we’ll try that.  I’m sure it’ll make Peg jealous lol!  “Like” this if you’ll be there, and “reply” to it if you’re going to bring Barg’s.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

Hey, J. May, where’s the part where you only take pictures in black and white because you’re a pretentious dirt-fucker?  Furthermore, where’s the part where you only take black and white pictures of people around you for the sole purpose of unsuccessfully proving that you have friends?  FURTHERmore, where’s the part where you don’t follow someone on Tumblr even though you said you would?  This graph is all wrong, J. May.  You’re no where to be found on it.

Stop pretending you know anything about photography, loser.  Black and white photos are fine and J-A-Y-M-A-Y takes good ones of them.  Just because your too stupid to understand doesn’t mean you’re right.  And JayMay does have friends, and they don’t call him “J. May.”  He doesn’t need to take pictures of people to prove he has them.
Anyway, JayMay, you still down for the Photog Brew Haw-Haw-Hawg Bash’em Up Party tonight?  We’re roasting a pig and playing rock ‘em sock ‘em robots and, yes, we’ll talk about photography for a while.  “Like” this post if you’re still showing or reply to it if you want to reschedule.

areyoukiddingmejmay:

Hey, J. May, where’s the part where you only take pictures in black and white because you’re a pretentious dirt-fucker?  Furthermore, where’s the part where you only take black and white pictures of people around you for the sole purpose of unsuccessfully proving that you have friends?  FURTHERmore, where’s the part where you don’t follow someone on Tumblr even though you said you would?  This graph is all wrong, J. May.  You’re no where to be found on it.

Stop pretending you know anything about photography, loser.  Black and white photos are fine and J-A-Y-M-A-Y takes good ones of them.  Just because your too stupid to understand doesn’t mean you’re right.  And JayMay does have friends, and they don’t call him “J. May.”  He doesn’t need to take pictures of people to prove he has them.

Anyway, JayMay, you still down for the Photog Brew Haw-Haw-Hawg Bash’em Up Party tonight?  We’re roasting a pig and playing rock ‘em sock ‘em robots and, yes, we’ll talk about photography for a while.  “Like” this post if you’re still showing or reply to it if you want to reschedule.

Saddened

areyoukiddingmejmay:

jhnmyr:

Micayla Patterson, 17, was killed when the truck she was riding in was hit near downtown Tulsa. Patterson was returning home after a John Mayer concert.”

I’m sitting in my dressing room in Houston, having just read this terrible news. My heart and thoughts go out to Micayla’s family and her friends. This is just awful. Every night, over the course of two hours I come to care very deeply for every face in the crowd, and somewhere in that glance out over the audience for my final bow is the hope and the prayer that everyone gets home safely and carries out awesome, bright, beautiful lives. This won’t soon leave my mind, and tonight’s show is dedicated to Micayla’s memory as well as wishing for a quick recovery for the two other passengers injured. 

I’m sending love tonight to everyone in Springdale.

With Deepest Sympathies,

John

Sorry to hear that, J. May.  Truly I am.  That sucks.

It’s spelled “JayMay.”